Doki Doki Death Club

Friday the 13th…A Day dedicated to superstitions, and dumb people connecting coincidences to “haunted happenings,” I didn’t feel like going out and having to deal with society and seeing my parents, because I hate them so much, so I opted for staying home on my pc. I heard from one of my friends who is a self proclaimed, “otaku” about this, “kawaii sugoi” anime game he loved called, “Doki Doki Literature Club” and wanted me to try it out. I usually would never even consider playing such trash but since I was so bored I decided to give it a try. I opened up my TOR browser to try and find this game. I only use the TOR because as someone with an abnormally high IQ I find all other browsers to be inferior, and I know you can’t trust those mainstream browsers. They’re just ways for the government to spy on you. After some searching I found the game on some webpage that was all black except for some white text that read: Doki Doki Literature Club, and below it a download link. I hesitantly clicked download. I started a new game, and everything seemed okay at first but them one of the characters named Yuri clawed out her eyes and her hair turned blood red and suddenly her name changed to; THE DEVIL. Then THE DEVIL said, “Kill your family and give me your credit card information.” I was so scared I immediately closed the game, but it just reopened itself. The game opened with the girl Yuri picking her nose with two fingers then it began to read my credit card information aloud! I was concerned so I called my local priest, who came over and told me that the devil had haunted my computer! He told me he would go into my computer and fight the devil out of it. HE whipped out a VR headset he kept deep within his robes and plugged it into my computer then put it on. Then he challenged the devil to a 1v1 in Dota2, but the devil was too good especially when playing Meepo and bested the priest in just under 5 minutes. The priest then died inside my computer and the devil still haunts it to this day.