I know I could have loved you but you would not let me

I know ending this casual thing we’ve been doing for the last few months was the right thing to do. We’re both so stressed and busy and graduate college in a year. You don’t want a relationship and I’m not in a healthy place to have one. It was best for both of us. But it hurts. I don’t just miss what we had- the deep conversations, physical closeness, the best sex of my life- but what we could have had, too. Some of my favorite days were ones hanging out in your apartment, in your bed, just talking.

I’m not in love with you, but I could’ve been. I told you I left work early because I was sick, but it was really because I couldn’t stop crying at my desk. I missed 4 hours of pay. I wish things were different, timing and other circumstances. I said I want to be friends again after some time but I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I can walk back that emotional and sexual closeness. I know this is the right thing, but I wish you would have let me love you.